


any day i think i'm gonna break now

by MythologicalHoe



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Steampunk, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Character Death, Slow Burn, Wolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2019-10-14 08:28:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17505122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MythologicalHoe/pseuds/MythologicalHoe
Summary: When Kylo Ren is given the chance at a big cash reward to get Rey from Texas to New York, he takes the deal. What he didn't know was that this zookeeper intern also has a wolf in her possession. He also didn't know that this girl just so happens to be immune to the walker virus.





	1. the last of us

The world had burned for two years straight after the outbreak, it was constant hell, and everyone was sure that there wasn’t going to be any coming back from the apocalypse that was wiping out the entire Earth. That was just the panic that was going around at that point. Within the fire of the panic and the destruction of the weaker parts of community arose survivors and warriors. People that deserved to be alive. Kylo Ren didn’t consider himself to be one of those people, despite being stronger, being able to evade the same dangers that other people should have been able to survive. 

 

The world was still burning after the first two years of the outbreak, but the burn became slower, and people were able to survive despite the walkers that roamed the streets. Security companies reigned and small populations of people all over America were willing to shell out any money they had left to get to one of the government sanctuaries that was halfway across the country and far away from the outbreaks in the big cities.

 

Kylo Ren worked for the First Order, one of those security companies. He was considered one of the best runners they had, with a success rate of ninety percent. Most people couldn’t afford the rates that he paid to get them from one place to another, they pleaded with the secretaries of the First Order and they just laughed in their faces. Kylo Ren didn’t really care though. He spent the days where he wasn’t doing anything drinking, trying not remember the first days of the outbreak. 

 

* * *

  
  


**_Two Years Before_ **

 

“We need to get out of here,” Ben had told his mother and father. It was dark and he could hear sounds of panic, of people screaming in the streets. “It’s going to shit out there and I don’t think that we should sit any longer.” 

 

“Where could we go?” Leia said. 

 

“Ben you need to just get out of here yourself.” Han told him. “We’re too old. Too slow. We’ll only slow you down.” 

 

“No,” Ben told them, “no I’m not gonna leave you.” 

 

“Listen to your father,” Leia said, “I don’t know what’s going on right now and you just need to go. You need to go and never come back.” 

* * *

  
  


Someone knocked on Kylo’s door. “Hey, dumbass.” Phasma shouted. Kylo rolled his eyes. 

 

“Keep talkin’ that loud and you’re gonna get us killed.” He picked himself up, the gears in his arm turning to put the bottle he was nursing on the table in front of him.  _ This goddamn thing, gotta get this fixed again.  _ Kylo went to open the door, and Phasma smiled when he opened the door. 

 

“Got a new fuckin’ job for you,” She said, “One that’s worth around fifty thousand credits and ten thousand ration cards.” Kylo found himself liking Phasma’s presence at his apartment a little bit more. “Thought that you would want it.” 

 

“And why aren’t you going for it?” He asked her. 

 

“Because,” She said, “I don’t do runs that involve taking someone from Texas to New York.” 

 

“You’ve got to be fuckin’ kidding me.” 

 

“Hey, you have to admit the reward is better than anything you’ve ever gotten.” 

 

“And what does this job entail besides a copious amount of walking?” 

 

“A girl,” 

 

“And what’s so special about this girl, is she a millionaire’s child or something?” 

 

“No,” Phasma said, “she’s just a nobody, but the government wants her for some reason. They ordered the First Order to take care of her and they wanted the best to take her to the Dragonfly Hospital and Sanctuary in New York. It was either you or me and well, she’s a nineteen year old little snot who talks too much so I thought that she would be just the girl for you.” 

 

“You really are an asshole,” Kylo rolled his eyes. 

 

“You know you love me.” She said. “Come on. I’ll take you to the safehouse where we left her.” 

 

“Hold on,” He waved her away and went to his bookshelf. There wasn’t any books on them. Just a first aid kit, two pistols and several clips filled with loads. He still had the machete that Phasma had gave him for his twenty eighth birthday clipped to his side. It never left his side either. The good thing about where Ren lived was that he cleared enough of a path that walkers wouldn’t go through that he could get to most of the local sanctuaries and safe houses within about thirty minutes without having any encounters with any other walkers. 

 

Phasma lead Kylo out of there, familiar enough with the clockwork traps of the First Order’s Elite living quarters that she got past them with ease.  _ Tick, tick, tick, tick.  _ Each tick reminded them of the millisecond of time that passed, of the fact that every second they worked, the First Order kept them safe.

 

They moved past the brass and plexiglass fence and kept going into the main street. “You know, I think that if you do get rich off all the shit the government is willing to pay for this kid, you should donate to the less fortunate.” 

 

“Uh huh,” Kylo rolled his eyes, “sure thing.” 

 

“I’m serious, not all of us can afford the ridiculous amount of money that it is to get food and guns outside of the Southern sanctuaries.” 

 

“Right,” he said. “You know you could do this run with me and then we could split the profits.” 

 

“I have a client that needs to get to Georgia,” Phasma said. 

 

“I thought you weren’t going to take that one,” They rounded a corner, “he wasn’t offering enough.” 

 

“Yeah well, I’m feelin’ extra generous today and his wife is pregnant so maybe a discount is in order.” Kylo shook his head. “What? Do you think I’m lying or something?”

 

“No,” He said, “I just think that it’s fucking stupid to try and raise a kid in times like these. Either the kid’s  gonna die or the parent’s gonna die and there’s no inbetween.” 

“You’re real pessimistic, Ren.” She said. 

 

“I just like to call it realism,” 

  
  


When Phasma and Kylo reached the safe house, they could smell sausage and beans that had just been cooked. It contrasted with the grimey rusted feel of the rest of the place. “By the way I should tell you something,” Phasma told him as they pulled down the two sets of folding barriers that kept the walkers out and kept walking. 

 

“Tell me what?” 

  
  


“You know if you keep trying to touch me Benji will bite off more than your left finger.” The girl that Phasma was talking about said. There was a mix of British and Southern in her voice, it was interesting to say the least. Kylo was a little bit more than annoyed though. 

 

“Who the hell is Benji?” He hissed at Phasma. 

 

“She has a wolf,” Phasma grimaced, “didn’t think you’d take the job if you knew—” 

 

“You know I don’t do pets. Especially feral creatures like—” 

 

“Ren, come in here and get this stupid girl off my hands.” Kylo rolled his eyes and rounded the corner to a very amusing scene. The nineteen year old girl had Hux in a headlock, switchblade pressed to his throat. “ _ Ren,”  _ Hux warned. “Don’t just stand there, do something,” 

 

“What the hell did you do, Hux?” 

 

Kylo went into the room a little more to be greeted by an ominous low growl. He looked to the side to see a wolf standing there, waiting for the command to attack him. Phasma was ultimately the one to defuse the situation. “He touched my ass, fucking perv.” 

  
  


“Tell her you’re sorry.” 

 

“Hell no,” 

 

“Hux? I have a feeling she’s gonna kill you and maul Ren if you don’t so just do what I say.” 

 

“Fine. Sorry.” Rey let go of him. 

 

“Call off your dog,” Kylo was already getting annoyed. 

 

“He’s a Mexican Gray Wolf, not a dog.” 

 

“I don’t give a shit.” Kylo said.

 

“Benji,” Rey looked pointedly at the dog and he came to her without another word. 

 

“Follows commands like a dog, it is a dog.” 

 

“Fuck you old man,” The girl said. Kylo looked back to Phasma. 

 

“You’re right. She is annoying.” 

 

“If she wasn’t worth so much I’d kill the little shit myself,” 

 

“I’d like to see you try,” 

 

* * *

 

**_Two Years Earlier_ **

 

“Like hell I’m leaving,” Ben said. “You two are coming with me, and you’re not going to ask any questions. We’ll take the minivan.” He grabbed his father’s shotgun and gave his father his pistol. “Come on,” He said. “We’re going to get you guys to safety.” Leia looked like she was going to cry, he had never seen his mother so scared and he really didn’t blame her. 

“Ben, you should just go.” 

 

“You’re coming with me. We can go get Luke and then get the hell out of the city. Find a way to survive. It’ll all be okay, mom. You have to believe me.” Leia stared at Ben for a minute before she finally said, 

“Okay,” She said. She got up. “Okay. Let’s go.” 

 

* * *

  
  


“Okay, girl. I know you’re trying to show big your balls are but you’re not proving anything here. What’s your name?” The girl was silent, and then Phasma said, 

 

“He asked you a question.” 

 

“Rey,” She rolled her eyes. “You?” 

 

“Kylo,” 

 

“That sounds made up,” 

 

“I don’t give a shit,” He hissed. “Why does the government want you?” 

 

“I’m not allowed to tell,” She muttered. 

 

“We gotta leave your pet behind,” 

 

“Not doing that.” 

 

“Then tell us why you need to be taken to New York.” 

 

“ _ I can’t tell.”  _ She hissed. “Come on, old man I just—” 

 

“You know I’m twenty eight, only nine years your senior.” He was tired of her calling him old. She didn’t really care though. She looked like she was about to flip him the bird when he went to Hux. “How’s the payment coming through?” 

 

“They want her delivered alive before they pay anything,” 

 

“What the fuck?” 

 

“Yeah,” He said, “good luck, Ren.” He sneered. Kylo was starting to regret this a lot more than most of the decisions he made in his life. 

* * *

  
  


**_Two Years Earlier_ **

  
  


Ben was a Marine before the Outbreak, he had just been honorably discharged for losing an arm to an IED. Back then the prosthetic that he had gotten was at the top of the line, the cogs and brass ticking in time to his every thought and move. It helped Ben kill three men and get his mother and father out to the minivan. All three of them got in and Ben got out of the driveway. His mother was shaking. “Everyone’s okay, right?” He asked.

 

“Yes,” The both of them said in unison. Han seemed more into comforting Leia than anything else, but Ben didn’t blame him. He had never seen his mother so scared and he hated it so much, but she had protected him for so long and now it was time for him to protect her. 

 

He drove as fast as a steam powered car could take him through the city. People were screaming, pleading for him to help them but he couldn’t listen. Even when his mother got her voice and wanted to save them. “My priority is getting you and dad to safety and then going back for Luke,” He swerved as someone came out into the middle of the street. “Motherfucker!” He shouted. His heart was pounding as fast as it did in the field. This was different though, he had something to lose. Two things to lose. His mother and father had helped rehabilitate him even though he was depressed and not easy to work with, and he loved the shit out of them for it. 

 

In the past few months they got closer than they had been in a long time, and Ben didn’t want to lose that now. It seemed that all of his hopes were being crushed right before him though, because another car slammed into them and turned the car over. Ben woke up to his mom shaking him. “Come on, Ben.” she said. “We gotta go.” They were trapped. 

 

“Get back.” He told her. It didn’t take much for him to break the glass of one of the windows and get his parents out. They kept moving, someone came at Han and tried to clamp their mouth around his neck, Ben shot him in the face and kept going without looking at his parent’s reactions. They made it all the way to the clearing before three people in army outfits approach them. 

 

“Drop the fucking guns!” One of them yelled. 

 

“Hey, we’re clean!” Ben said. “We’re clean!” 

 

“Drop the fucking guns and get on your hands and knees.” They did what they asked. That should have been okay. That should have been okay. He should’ve gotten his parents to safety. The soldiers had a different idea. 

 

“Sir, are you sure?” Dread ran through his stomach as the shots started and Ben sprang into motion, he grabbed the gun on the ground and shot the first one. The second one shot his prosthetic arm, and Ben retaliated. Once all three of them were dead, he turned to his parents. Han was already dead by the time he turned around, but his mother had been shot in the shoulder and once in the hip. 

 

“No, no, no, no, no.” He shouted. He fell to his mother’s side. His arm was starting to malfunction. “No, mom, mom…” 

 

She opened her mouth to speak but instead whined in pain. “Is Han—?” 

 

“Yeah,” Ben said, “but you gotta stay awake okay.” He put pressure on the wounds. “I can save you and I know that it hurts. I know it hurts. I got shot twice overseas and it’s not fun, but you’re so strong mom, You’re so strong.” Her eyes were starting to flutter, breathing getting more shallow. 

 

“Honey, I’m sorry.” 

 

“Mom, please. You can’t do this to me, not now. Not now. I need you. I need you.” Tears were streaming down his cheeks. His chest hurt. His mother died that day. Ben had never cried so much. He had bit the inside of the his cheek to stifle his cries as he hovered over his mother's dead body. And thus the flame devoured the old him, and Kylo Ren was born from the ashes.


	2. Food

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I'll update after five comments and next chapter will be longer.

“Will you shut up?” This man that had accepted the job to take her to New York seemed thoroughly annoyed with her. Rey didn’t know why, she was just trying to ask him the normal questions. What his favorite color was, the works. Trying to make conversation with him. When he snapped at her, her wolf growled back in response. 

 

“Benji,” She told him, “it’s okay, he’s just grumpy.” Grumpy old man. She rolled her eyes at him and turned her gaze to that brass arm prosthetic that he had. “I know how to fix that,” She said, “it’s barely hanging by a thread but I can fix it.” He stared at her and she wondered for a second if he was just going to turn the other way and take her back to the safehouse. 

“You know how to fix prosthetics?” 

“Yeah,” Rey shrugged, “My coworker had a leg that went on the fritz all the time. I learned how to fix it and fixed it.” 

“Huh,” Was all he said. Rey was hoping that he would let her help him, prove that she was worth all the trouble that he was going through. That probably wasn’t going to happen. 

 

“Come on, you should let me see it. Better that I do it now than when we’re actually surrounded by walkers.” He knew that she had a point, she could see it all over his face. It looked like it took physical effort for him to agree with her and stop in a building not too far up ahead on the road. Rey had taken a backpack of things that she had assumed that she might need on the trip, and some of those things included the tools that were necessary to fix that arm. 

 

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing kid?” Rey nodded without second thought, decided that it was best not to comment on how he was questioning her abilities since he was already annoyed with her. Just get the arm fixed, and move on. It was a lot easier to fix than she thought it was going to be, the cogs were a little loose and she had to readjust a wire that was loose, but it started working again and Ben grunted. Maybe that was a grunt of approval. Rey didn’t know. She couldn’t tell with this man. They got back on the road and he didn’t even say thank you. 

 

The silence between the two was deafening as Rey tried her best not to annoy this man that was helping her. Or maybe he wasn’t. Because there wasn’t any fucking walkers around for her to be protected from. Benji growled occasionally, reminding her that he was hungry. “I know, boy. I know. Go find some food. Meet up with us later.” She scratched the top of his head and let him go. 

 

Kylo eyed her. “Why’d you do that?” 

 

“He’s smart.” She said. “He always comes back to me.” 

 

“Glad you’re so sure about that,” He rolled his eyes, he was scanning over the street, searching for something. 

 

“Why are you so paranoid?” She asked. 

 

“You talk like you’ve never been jumped.” 

 

“I have,” She said.

 

* * *

  
  


**_Two Years Ago_ **

 

When Rey was seventeen and the apocalypse started, she thought that she was going to die, but she knew for a fact that she couldn’t leave the animals in the zoo. It would break her heart to just abandon people in that way, so when everyone left she stayed and watched people turn into walkers. The days were hot and she spent the first three days of it locked in a maintenance closet. The only thing that got her to get out of that closet was the sound of an animal crying. She couldn’t get the noise out of her head.  _ Get up.  _ A voice in her head had told her. 

 

She couldn’t just stay here. 

 

She had to get up. 

 

She had to protect them. She wished that she had someone who could’ve protected her in younger years, but now that she fended for herself, she could just so easily grab the broom in the closet and take off the broom part and use the handle. And that’s what she did. She broke the broom and stared at the handle for a minute. There had to be something else that she could use to her advantage. Then she found it. There was a long screwdriver that had hid itself all this time that she was here. She took that as well and made herself out of the way.

 

The zoo was full of infected at first. They had stumbled over the fence or at one time worked there. It took a total of three weeks for Rey to clear out all of the walkers and an additional two to board up the zoo to keep the animals safe. That's when she had to answer one more problem. Food. 

* * *

  
  


Food. 

 

Kylo was hungry and the girl was no help, just talking about how she didn't know why a security company had to give her the rudest person possible to take her all the way to New York.  Ren was just about ready to tell her that he could just leave and she would get torn apart in about thirty minutes, but he knew that there would only be some sort of snarky remark coming from her and that wouldn't help anyone. “Aren't you hungry?” Rey was hanging out in the open view of the storefront he was trying to find food from. Everything seemed picked over already. 

 

“Don't you have ration cards? You're an overpaid bodyguard after all.” 

 

“Yeah but I don't like wasting them.”  _ Especially people like you.  _ “I know what its like to run out, plus the next station isn't for three miles and it's getting dark. Ambushes happen when it gets dark — why the hell are you letting all the hot air in?” 

 

“I'm waiting.” 

 

“For what?”

 

“That.” Her wolf came in carrying something in its mouth. It dropped a rabbit carcass in Rey's hand that was barely damaged. Rey closed the door. 

 

“I don't trust food from that dog's mouth.”

 

“Benji's clean.” Rey said. “Now just help me prepare it.”

  
  



	3. a little truth bomb

Rey was annoying to say the least. Kylo could only get so far before Rey started asking questions and when she started to ask questions it was almost like she never stopped talking. “You know that there’s a threat out there, right?” He told her. She jumped, like she hadn’t expected such a reaction from him. 

“Maybe I’m just trying to entertain myself.” She said, “Distract myself from the fact that I’m on a trip across the country with an asshole who hates me and we don’t have a car.” Benji growled and Kylo knew that right now he was walking on thin ice. 

“Yeah, whatever, kid.” He hissed. “You’re going to get us killed one day with how much you talk.” It was like she wanted to punish him. It seemed like forever when she wasn’t talking, which was really a problem for Kylo. They had found a place to lie low for the moment and were eating canned peaches. Benji was off looking for food. 

“So,” Kylo said, “is yours okay?” Rey just gave him an eyeroll in response and kept eating. He thought that maybe she was just in a mood, but this continued the next day, and the next, and the next and the next. They were getting to a checkpoint, it was just a day’s away when he turned around to Rey and said, “I’m going to need you to talk to me.” 

Rey didn’t say anything. “I know, I was a dick.” He told her, “but you have a fucking pet and we need to get it across another way while the both of us are checked at the checkpoint to make sure that neither of us are infected.” Rey’s eyes widened, and he didn’t know why. He thought it was because she thought that maybe Benji would be in danger. 

“Apologize,” She crossed her arms over her chest and Kylo found it a little bit hilarious. He didn’t let onto that fact that he thought that though. “I’m serious, you were an asshole, you should apologize.” He bit his lower lip and he could see her face flush pink. He also thought that that was hilarious. 

“Your right kid, I was an ass. Does that make you happy?”

“Yes,” She said. 

“Good, you can talk again but when we get to the checkpoint, I need to be the one to do all of the talking, okay?” Rey nodded and the two of them set off again. Rey was talking chipperly about all the animals she used to protect at the zoo. Something in him wanted to ask her what happened that led her away from that zoo, but he feared that maybe she would stop talking again. 

Then she asked. “What was your life before everything?” 

“I don’t like to think about that,” He said, “only who I am now.” Rey was silent for a while before she said that she never had anyone before the outbreak happened. She had been alone for a very long time, and suddenly Kylo felt like his heart was bleeding. He didn’t know why it was such a simple line that did him in, but he stopped, flexed the gears in his arm, and stared down at the ground. 

“Whoever you lost,” Rey told him, “it’s okay to be sad about them. I think it would be worse to forget about them though.” 

“I just let the past die, kill it if I have to.” 

She was silent for a long time. 

“And how’s that working out for you?” 

* * *

 

_Rey had friends. They just weren’t human. She had a friend in a Tiger that the Zoo had named Tatiana, a bunch of penguins that she named Jeff One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, and Seven. And the rest of the animals that were left at the zoo. The ones that she didn’t have to put down because the dead had feasted on them._

_It was not an easy feat protecting them and getting food for them all. There was a pretty large supply that she had for the first year, but as it started to run out, she knew that she would have to do something else. Go outside of the zoo._

_That’s when things started to go to shit._

* * *

He didn’t know what he expected from the checkpoint. It was always the same when he went through, but having to find a weak spot for the both of them to push Benji through only for Rey to hope that she would find him again was hard. He could see it on Rey’s face, she was trying not to cry at that moment. “He’ll be fine.” 

“You don’t know that.” 

“He’ll be fine.” 

“What if someone finds him and takes him?” He was sitting down and whining quietly at the moment. 

“I’ll personally track them down and kill them for you.” Rey blinked and stared at him. “I’m being serious.” He told her. “Dead ass serious.” She believed him. The two of them walked the rest of the way to the checkpoint. 

That was when things started to get out of hand. He wondered when Rey was going to tell him, but she didn’t. They went through all of the normal things. The two young soldiers that worked for the Republic knew Kylo well. They were another security company, and one that worked alongside the First Order quite frequently too. 

Then they got to checking Rey to make sure that she wasn’t infected and the machine beeped. It fucking beeped. Kylo looked over to Rey and she got this panicked look in her eyes. “Now listen fellas, I can explain.” 

“The girl’s infected.” Before Kylo could think of anything to do, Rey grabbed the pistol in the man’s leg holster and shot him in between spots in his armor. He fell to the ground. She shot the other man point blank in the head. 

“Jesus, fucking Christ. Really, Rey?” 

“What?” Her eyes were wild. “They thought that I was

He got up as Rey stumbled, she went outside back outside of the checkpoint. Thank fuck that there was no one else there. “You’re infected.” 

“No, I’m not.” She swore. “I’m not. I swear I’m not.” He had half a mind to shoot her right then and there. 

“Talk fast.” 

“I was bit two months ago,” 

“That’s not possible. You get bit you turn within two days.” 

“Yeah, I know. But not me.” She brought forth her sleeve and brought it up, he saw the bite on her. That was definitely a walker bite, but it wasn’t fresh. It wasn’t fresh at all. “The hospital they uh, they want me for a cure.” He wasn’t mad that she was the cure. 

He was pissed that she hadn’t told him that. He turned around and started grumbling, talking about the fact that she should’ve fucking told him. Rey yelled for him to wait and stop, the commotion they had made was too great. 

He saw it over the horizon at first. A hoard was migrating their way. 


	4. Chapter 4

“Get indoors,”  Kylo  told Rey. Rey opened her mouth to protest, but  Kylo  was fast, he picked her up and got her inside as she yelped. He barricaded the door and windows as they sat to wet. Rey was pissed,  Kylo  didn’t know what she was saying at first until his heart started calming down. 

“We still have to get Benji,” She was worried about the mutt. Because of course she was.  Kylo  rolled his eyes as he remembered the sizable hoard outside. “Hello!  Kylo ! Are you listening?” 

“Yes,” He groaned. “Now will you shut up?”

“We need to get Benji,” 

“Did you see the size of that hoard out there? There is no fucking way that we’re going out there right now, and I’m not going to let you out there either.” 

“You signed a contract that said you would protect me and my wolf!” She was insane. Ben could swear that she was going to be the death of the both of them. If she didn’t get herself killed first. 

“Will you be quiet? Your wolf is miles away and if he’s smart, he won’t come anywhere near the hoard!” 

“What if he heard the gunshots and came running, huh? What if he gets eaten out there-” That’s when  Kylo  realized that Rey was actually crying? She was pressed against one of the walls and she was trembling.  Kylo  blinked, reckoning that Rey and that wolf had been through a lot together. If he was going to keep her safe, it would probably be best to calm her down. 

“That’s not going to happen, that dog is resourceful. Knows how to protect himself. He’ll be fine and as soon as everything passes, we’ll find him, I promise you that I’ll go out of my way to find him okay?” Rey nodded and he tried to make her go to sleep so he could take watch to make sure that the herd didn’t find them and break in. Somewhere he fell asleep.

***

It was probably stupid to  Kylo  that Rey cried over Benji, but she was scared. He was her only friend in all of this, and that wolf had kept her alive through so much. So that’s when she did something stupid. The guard building had a ladder that led up to the roof and when  Kylo  nodded off, she took her shoes off and went up the ladder before going up to the roof. On the roof, there was a rainproof box that was used for weapons. She broke it open, glad that the moans of the hoard were too loud to hear the sounds of the box being opened. In it, she found a long bow and some sheathed arrows, a knife, and a rope. 

Rey worked quick, thankful that the rope was thin but strong. She tied it to the end of an arrow and nocked it, found a walker not too far away that already looked like it had been pretty damaged. Rey breathed in and then out, waiting to the right moment, and then shot the arrow. It made its way through the walker’s skull, but only made it to the base of the building when Rey pulled the rope and arrow back up with the guts of its brain. “God damn it,” She hissed. 

She re-nocked the arrow and got it into a sturdier spot in a backpack that it was wearing. Rey pulled it up, the body nearly tipping over before she got the thing onto the roof. Rey ripped the backpack off the body and found a gun with only a few rounds in it, a sandwich, a switchblade, and a poncho. 

Rey was grateful for what she had just found, especially because of what she was about to do. She opened the poncho and then cut the belly of the walker open, spreading its guts all over the thin plastic material. 

She put it on, pretending that the poncho didn’t smell foul. She went into the mix of the hoard quietly, her bow and arrows on her back as she walked slowly past the building and then circled it, thankful that there  were  only a few walkers that didn’t pay much attention to her because they were feasting on the bodies of the soldiers that Rey had killed earlier. 

***

When  Kylo  woke up, the only sign of Rey were her shoes, and the hatch to the roof was open, and for the first time in a while he felt scared. This wasn’t something that  Kylo  was used to. He was used to people dying because of stupid decisions, sure. But he wasn’t used to failing on his missions so early. Not only would this be bad for his reputation, but the death of a girl so young and so naïve just made him want to cry. 

The hoard was thinning down, but it was still too dangerous to get down. Then  Kylo  saw the gutted walker that Rey must’ve used to camouflage herself. “God damn it, Rey.” If he wasn’t so squeamish, he would go out there and look for her, if he wasn’t so pissed at her for blatantly not following his orders. 

So, he did the best that he could, he waited. That’s when he saw her. 

And the wolf. 

She was wearing a dirty green poncho, and the wolf had cloth tied over it. She would have a lot to explain herself.  Kylo  had to work fast, first he grabbed the gutted zombie, and hurled it as far as he could. This got some attention from a few of the hoard. Not enough though,  Kylo  went back down the ladder to find something that would be loud and easy to throw. That's when he found it, the guard posts were military grade. This was a pretty small one since they didn’t have a tank, but they sure as hell had grenades. “Fuck yeah.” 

Kylo  grabbed the three grenades and got back to the roof, setting them down as carefully as possible. He unpinned the first one and threw with the good arm, it made a good distance far away from the guard post, they started to break off to that part of the field where the noise came from,  Kylo  threw the other ones further away. 

Some of them died in a blast, and Rey and Benji were running.  Kylo  went back down the ladder and pushed the desk that barricaded the door out of the way as Rey and her wolf ran in. He barricaded the door again as Rey kicked off the rancid poncho she was wearing and untied a flannel she had tied around Benji with walker bits all over it.  “What the hell were you thinking?” He got right in her face and she backed up into the wall behind her again, hitting her head hard. 

Benji started growling, but he didn’t lunge yet, and  Kylo  didn’t care. “What the hell did I just tell you about an hour ago? We could’ve waited it out and then went to get your mangy ass dog!” 

“He’s a fucking wolf!” 

“I don’t  fucking  care!” He shouted. “I don’t care. My job is to protect you, and I can’t do my fucking job if you’re being a dipshit and getting yourself in trouble.” 

“I lived, didn’t I?” She spat. 

“Yeah, you lived, because I happened to wake up and noticed that you were gone!” 

“I lived because I know how to get through walker crowds,” 

“Evidently you don’t if you’ve been bit before.” 

“You have no idea what happened for me to get bit, you don’t.  So  don’t you fucking go there, you know nothing about me and you haven’t even tried to be friendly to me. So yeah, I went out by myself and thanks for drawing the hoard away but you don’t get to call me an idiot for going to save my only friend in this whole shitty situation.” He couldn’t say anything to that. 

How could he?

Her wolf calmed down as she sat down and curled up on her lap. They ended this conversation. 

***

When the hoard cleared, both of them were starving. Rey was so hungry that she was probably about ten minutes away from actually considering Benji food. They had about two cans of beans that Rey rationed out one of them with her and her wolf. At this point,  Kylo  was starting to think that that wolf was more trouble than it was worth. 

The two of them walked, the wolf running ahead, looking for something to eat. Rey was starting to look a little faint. “Hey,  Kylo .” She said. She started giggling. She waited for him to answer. He didn’t. “ Kylo ,” 

“What?” 

“What has one real thumb and scowls constantly?”  Kylo  raised an eyebrow at her as she giggled more. She was hungry. Really hungry. “You.” She said. That got a snort from him, which seemed to only encourage her. 

“Knock, knock?” 

“Who’s there?” 

There was a prolonged bout of silence before Rey said, “I’m really hungry.” 

“I know,” He said. “I know. We can sit and rest for a while before we keep looking.” There was nothing but field for miles, so Rey just plopped down in the grass. Ben gave her some water before sitting down next to her. They sat out there for a while before Rey said that she should keep going.

Benji came back and he was growling, but this was different. It wasn’t at  Kylo , he was trying to get their attention. “He wants us to follow him.” Rey said tiredly. “I don’t know how much further I can walk.  Kylo  turned, grabbing her without a word and throwing her over his shoulder. She protested a little, not a lot, and they walked nearly a mile off the path when they met trees. There Benji had ripped out the throat of a deer, the meat was still fresh. 

“Fuck, I love that dog!” He exclaimed. R ey was kissing her wolf and praising the restraint it had in not eating the deer. Her wolf then went off to kill its own meals.

***

After a full dinner that they had to pace themselves on, they blew out the fire and made camp nearby. Rey seemed nervous when they were more exposed like this, and  Kylo  couldn’t blame her. He knew that the only reason she had the moment of stupid braveness was because she wanted Benji, bu t out here there was nothing to protect her. They were vulnerable to ambush. 

In a moment of kindness,  Kylo  pulled her closer and put his arm around her. She eyed him but didn’t object. “Thanks,” She muttered. He wasn’t sure how this made her feel. 

“You comfortable?” She nodded. “Good.” He would’ve let go if she had told him to get off of her. “Go to sleep. I’ll keep watch.” She nodded and tried. It didn’t take long for her breathing to slow and her eyes to close. That’s when he looked down at her and his breath caught. Rey was so small and beautiful when she was asleep, that’s when  Kylo   got struck with a pang of loneliness that he usually dulled with alcohol flare up. 

He would not cry though. 

That was ridiculous. 

They got up the next morning and set out again,  Kylo  swore that Rey’s wolf was side eyeing him.    "I think I'm starting to grow on you," Rey said out of the blue. They were walking back to where they had left Benji, and he was secretly hoping the dog wasn't gone. 

"Like a cancerous mass?" 

"Nope," Rey said, "I think you're secretly learning to tolerate me." It was so confident but Kylo swore he heard the slightest tremor in her voice. "Maybe even like me." 

"And what makes you think that?" 

"You didn't shoot me when I showed you the bite," Her eyes were wide and  Kylo  was reminded of a deer in headlights. The fierce yet uncertain and cautious nature reminded him of himself when he was younger, and somewhat of pictures of his grandmother.  Kylo  wasn't sure he would've been able to shoot her even if he didn't believe her. Did she really think that low of him that him not killing her seemed like progress to her? He just grunted and kept walking. His arm was starting to ache from the prosthetic being in use for too long without his pain meds. He ignored it though.  They had to get back on track and to the next city. 


	5. Chapter 5

 

 

Rey’s feet were sorer than she could ever imagine. “When are we going to stop?” She asked. Kylo still didn’t answer. “Are you just gonna walk until I faint or Benji keels over?”

“No, but I will keep walking until you shut up.”

“So you’re gonna walk until I faint.” It had to be at least a hundred degrees outside and neither of them had stopped for water in an hour.

“Do you ever shut up?” And then there was silence. Rey had spent enough time with this man to know how to make him eat his words. She and Benji tucked away into the crumbling entrance of an abandoned storefront and stayed there. Rey snickering to herself the whole time. Kylo turned around, obviously not having heard her. It took a minute of scuffling around before he came around looking for her. “Rey? Rey?” He turned around looking for her. She heard some shuffling around before he found her. “What the fuck?”

“Your face,” Rey snorted.

“That isn’t funny.”

“It kind of was,” She snickered.

“God, you’re such a child.”

***

 

For a minute, Kylo actually felt fear. That sudden moment of silence. The thought that someone ambushed them and took Rey and Benji brought him back to the feeling of helplessness he had when he watched his mother die. When he lost his arm. Then he saw her and her damned wolf, she was smiling like it was funny. It wasn’t funny. He hated the fact that he wanted to smile too, seeing her like that. Instead he seethed and turned around and kept walking. She was silent again for a minute but was silently trudging next to him, Benji had gone off after she told him to go find himself some food. They stopped when he found a place that he thought wouldn’t be too easy for others to get in. That’s when she started talking again.

“Are you really mad at me?” Her tone sounded apologetic, and Kylo realized that.

“Was,”

“Sorry,” She sat down, resting against the wall.

“It wasn’t entirely your fault,” He told her. “Just reminded me of something bad that happened and it’s already hot and we don’t have anymore water. So, yeah. I was cranky.”

“Can I ask what it reminded you of?” He shook his head. “It’s better if I know about stuff that I shouldn’t do so that I don’t scare you like that again.” Her eyes were wide and doe eyed, and Kylo couldn’t look at them. If he did he would be staring for too long.

“Used to be in the Marines,” He said. Rey nodded. “I was just a stupid kid, wanting to fight for my country and stuff. Wanted to make my parents proud, that kind of thing. I also felt like I never really belonged anywhere so I just wanted to be anywhere else but here. The whole fighting for your country thing is not all that it’s cracked up to be. You get PTSD, limbs blown off, and shit pay, even before the world ended.”

“What happened to your parents? If you don’t mind me asking?”

“They died, the outbreak was the day after I got home from my discharge.” Rey looked like she might cry.

“Fuck,”

Kylo felt like he was going to. “Fuck, sorry. I don’t think that I should’ve dumped all of that on you. Sorry.”

“No,” She said, “don’t be. If we’re going to be walking all the way to find this cure, might as well get to know each other right?”

“I don’t think I’m a very likeable person, so I’m sorry about that.”

“Ah, you’re not too shabby.” She said. “You keep me protected and I appreciate that.”

“I think that you can protect yourself real nice, maybe I’m just someone you need so you can chat their ear off.”

“I appreciate that too,” The both of them started laughing, before stopping when they heard some scratches at the low entry that they wriggled in through. Kylo motioned for Rey to stay there and went over to see what was going on. If he needed to kill a walker or something. Benji wriggled through the entry and growled.

“Oh, it’s just you.” His snout was wet, like he had been drinking in some pond. Kylo might’ve tried to get the mutt to go back there if it hadn’t been night time.

“Benji?” Rey ran around the corner and hugged him. The wolf stared at him as she embraced him. “Good boy,” The wolf cocked it’s head, almost as if to say, _You’re replaceable. I’m not._ Kylo sighed, watching her get up and dust herself off as they went back to their spot. Neither of them talked very much after that. Both too tired and too dehydrated to really talk anymore. Both of them fell asleep that night, and when Kylo woke up, Rey was gone. Benji was still there.

***

They came in the middle of the night, people that knew who she was and told her that if she wanted Kylo and Benji to live, she would come with them quietly. Rey had nothing to defend herself. So she did what she was told. She wasn’t the type of person to put other people in danger like that. She never was. She raised her hands up until they shoved her through the small entrance. She didn’t see any of their faces. It was pitch black outside and the only light that was provided was a flashlight that someone had. She had a bag put over her head and then was moved to some place before she stopped moving. “Did she put up a fight?”

“No,” The person said, “have anything good on her.”

“Just a knife, nothing else.”

“Shame,” _Yes, what a shame they couldn’t capitalize off of her like that._ “How much money do you think she’ll go for?”

“If they want her for the cure, it’s gonna be a lot.” _Scumbags._ Rey couldn’t wait for these fuckers to die. 

Part of her was seething, wanting to take action now. But she couldn’t do anything. Not if she wanted to live.

“Does she have to be dead or alive?”

“I’d bet they prefer alive,”

“It’s gonna be harder to transport that way. They can still transport the body dead, can’t they.”

“They can, but we’d get more money for her alive. Try and keep her alive.” This was going to be a wild ride.


	6. It's Because of The Money, Isn't It?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am a dumbass who wrote this at midnight because she was in her feelings and I have to get up early tomorrow to go to the airport, so pls enjoy this action packed dumbassery

Rey didn’t have panic attacks very often, but now, she was sure that she was about to have one. There was a constant taste of bile in her mouth. She could smell the sweat of the other men that were transporting her to god knows where. She could hear their talk, about how the walkers had been getting closer and closer to them as time went by. “Are you sure that this girl is worth it?”

Rey didn’t think that she was worth it. No, the trouble that everyone was going through for her was definitely not worth it. She wished she could tell them that. Instead, she just threw up inside of the car.

***

Kylo knew what it was like to have a panic attack. This time, he tried to push that feeling aside as he realized just what happened. Someone had been following them for a while, and Kylo had been stupid enough to not notice it. How? He wasn’t sure. But he found footprints just outside the crawlspace that they had been in and if he had been on his better game, he would’ve killed the asshole that came through that door. A growl came from behind him and he turned.

He had almost forgotten that Benji was right there. “Great, what am I going to do with you?” The wolf growled again, but this time Kylo noticed something. The wolf was staring at something behind him. His tail was incredibly straight. He turned just in time as a man came for him. This man was more machine than man, cogs and spare parts replacing a leg and an arm of his.

Kylo went low when the man went high, picking him up by the legs and throwing him down. He pressed his foot on the hand that had a machete in it and closed his other hand around the other man’s throat. “You better start talking real quick, or you’re not going to like what happens next.”

“Fuck!”

“Who do you work for?”

“I’m not telling you, you fucking bastard.”

“Benji,” This was the first time that the wolf actually came when he called. That was interesting. “You see that wolf back there,” He said. Kylo stomped down on his hand, satisfied when he heard the satisfying crunch of organic bone. “He’s fuckin’ hungry. If you don’t tell me who you work for, I’m going to let him eat the organic parts of you if you don’t tell me who you work for.” The wolf’s snarl must’ve been convincing enough for the man to finally say what he was working for.

“We used to work for the Resistance,” He said, “but we left. Fed up of all the rules. Before we left we found out about the girl. That’s what you want, right? The girl?”

“Tell me more.” He picked the man up almost like he was a ragdoll. “Tell me more.”

***

Rey was brought out to some cabins in the middle of nowhere. Some people were laughing, talking about how the cure to the apocalypse didn’t look like much. Others talking about wanting to have their way with her. It was a whirlwind of things that Rey didn’t want to experience. “Fuck, the girl threw up in the back of the car.”

“Then fucking clean it up,” Rey was staring at things through a black strip that was tied over her head. She couldn’t see much. A step, a door. She was pushed into a room and told to stay there, and she did. She didn’t hear anything. Couldn’t see anything. So for the first time since she had been kidnapped, she started to cry. She knew that it wasn’t a good idea to, especially when she wasn’t given any water and she had already thrown up, but she couldn’t help it. She only stopped when the door opened.

“Ah, poor little girl.” She stopped crying, tilting her head up at the sound of the other person’s voice. The blindfold was taken off of her. She was met with the face of a man who looked like he hadn’t showered since before the outbreak. His breath stank in her face. “You look tired, are you tired?” She thought that she wouldn’t be able to speak, but something in her mustered enough courage to do just that. “What do you want from me?” She spat.

“I thought it was pretty clear,” He said. “I want money.”

“I don’t have any on me,” She told him.

“I know you don’t. But the people that want you for the cure do, and if I get the money I want, then you’ll go free.” He shrugged. “You’re going to be here for a while, sweetheart. So I wouldn’t get too surly with me.”

“You can’t kill me,” She told him.

“Yes I can,”

“No you can’t,” Rey insisted, “you know that DNA gets weaker with age, so if you kill me before they get the money to you then you won’t have a cure.” The man laughed in her face, spittle coming from his mouth and hitting her face. She flinched, just a little. “

“Oh, what a young, naive girl.” He put his hand on her thigh and she kicked at him.

“Get the fuck off me!”

“Such spunk.” He said. “I don’t give a rats ass if there’s a cure or not. In fact, there’s been people like me who’ve been profitting off the outbreak for a while now who would like to make sure that you never get to where you need to go.” That made Rey’s blood curdle. She needed to get out of here. “So I would do what you’re told sweetheart, because if you don’t, well I won’t have any trouble killing you myself.” With that he left.

***

It seemed like Kylo was walking forever before he found the place where Rey was being kept. Then he killed the man. He didn’t have any more use for him after all. He hid him among the bushes, and told Benji to stay hidden. He wasn’t sure the thing actually understood him, but he didn’t follow him when he started to approach the came.

It was a hot day, and sweat stuck to Kylo’s back. His feet ached and he longed for water, but he knew that he could hold off rest. He needed to get Rey back. The ability to sleep seemed to have been taken from him when he had seen that she was gone. Was it just a day ago? Was Rey even still alive? For some reason, the thought of Rey dead was freaking Kylo out even more.

He decided that he couldn’t think about that. That wasn’t going to help her if she was still alive in the first place. “Schroedinger’s cat,” He told himself, “she’s not alive or dead right now.” That wasn’t really helping either. He decided that he was just being a dumbass. Act, not react. Act, not react. Examine your surroundings and figure out your situation. Kylo knew that there were people that were better equipped than him, both in armor and weapon, and they also had both of their hands readily available.

That wasn’t going to stop him though.

Kylo saw three guards posted by the clearing were he was at. There was no one coming in, no one coming out. Two guards were equipped with longbows and arrows, side pistols were in holsters on their legs. Kylo stayed in his spot for two hours, getting used to their schedules before he moved. He was going to get Rey back alive.

***

As soon as the man who had been berating her left, Rey started to look around the room to see if there was anything that was going to help her escape this mess. She noticed that the room that she was in was similar to a church, but the floor was dirty. It was like people had been drinking beer or something in there a few days before. Rey grabbed one of the bottles, praying to God that no one heard her and broke it. The glass cut her hand and she cursed, but no one came. She picked up one of the bigger pieces and got to work.

The blood that was dripping out of her hand was a reminder that she needed to get out of there, because the injuries that she had could be a lot worse than just this. It seemed like an eternity before she got her hands free and placed the glass piece to the side, untying her feet and looking around. She found more bottles. Some rocks. Things that weren’t ideal weapons but could take out people if she played her cards right.

There were windows in the building, some of them unable to close due to time. She took advantage of this, placing one rock in the pouch of her hoodie, taking two glass bottles, and shimmying out the window. She crouched low to the ground, sure to stay out of the view of anyone that might notice she was gone.

There were two guards that had been stationed to watch her. Rey laughed a little on the inside on the incompetency. She knew that she had to get them out of her way, and it would be great to get one of their weapons too. She formulated a plan. It was a stupid and impulsive plan, but it was a plan all the same. She threw the bottle against a tree not far away from the cabin. It shattered against the tree and alerted them both. “It’s probably nothing, but I’ll go check it out.” He said.

“I’ll go check on the prisoner,” Shit. She had to act fast. As soon as the door swung closed and the other guard was just closed enough for her to reach, Rey swung the other bottle full force at his head. She must’ve gotten lucky because he went down, hard. He had a long bow and a knife on him. That was better than nothing.

***

 

Kylo was good at killing.

It was never something that he liked to brag about or wanted to admit, but it was a fact. The second that the guards switched schedules, he killed one, grabbed their clothes and weapons, and walked in like their wasn’t a problem. It was pretty clear that these guys were dumbasses if Kylo ever had seen any. “Did you hear Plutt talk about the girl he brought in? He said she was real cute.” Kylo tensed as he listened to the conversation going on between the cook and someone else.

“Think you might have a go with her,”

“We’re not to touch her. Lowers her value,”

“Damn, that’s a shame.” Kylo was seeing red, but he had to tell himself that the most he could do right now is throw up in his mouth a little. He kept walking, knew that he had to find her. That was when all hell broke loose.

***

 

Rey was good with a bow. She remembered the days when she was little, the group home she was in took them out to a camp every summer and they had always had archery. There was something about it that had always drawn her to it when people usually didn’t have the patience to deal with it.

So when she took out the guard that had gone into the church looking for him through the window with one shot, she wasn’t surprised but she was happy with her handiwork. She went back into the church and grabbed the extra arrows, plus the one that was stuck in the man’s neck.

She needed to figure out how to get out of the camp. Rey knew that she had to act fast, there were a thousand ways to die out here, and if she wasn’t careful she would fall pray to those things. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath in, and then out. Opened her eyes, and snuck out of the church. She decided to go uphill, remembering the way that she had been pushed down the hill when they had stuffed her into that church.

She used the brush as her camoflauge, moving as quickly as she could. She clutched the knife she had stolen close to her, telling herself that she would kill any asshole that got too close to her. Part of her was longing for Kylo, for Benji, but she knew that if she wanted to get back to them, she had to be a big girl and defend herself.

She was just hoping that Kylo was enjoying his time away from her at the moment.

***

Kylo was a dumb ass. He was a dumb ass. Someone had noticed one of the men that he killed and now they were looking for the culprit. He ducked behind one of the buildings as the horns were sounded.

“Fuck,”

Things couldn’t get any worse.

***

Things got worse.

Rey didn’t know how Benji got all the way over to this camp, but he was. She had gotten significantly closer to escape when she heard a voice ring out among warning bells and chaos, “If you want your fuckin dog alive, you’ll come out of the bushes, dear.” It was that man from earlier. Rey felt her blood chill as she drew her bow. There were men everywhere, surrounding her.

There was a fucking pistol aimed at her Benji’s head. This man was going to fucking die. “I’d drop the bow if I were you,” He told her. Benji was growling, but he wasn’t stupid. He knew to stay there.

“Give me my fucking wolf back, asshole.”

“You know that I can’t do that. Now I’d come back here if I were you. And tell me where your friend went.” Her friend. Her friend?

“I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

“The one that you were with,” He said, “the one with the one arm. Killed two of my men.” Rey looked up, behind him, her bow was still drawn. There he was, right behind the group, aiming at a gun right at the man’s head. Rey wanted to laugh, but she didn’t. “If you drop your weapon right now, your dog lives.”

Rey did as told. Kylo fired.

Benji took off, starting to tear into the first man’s leg as he fumbled for his gun. Rey picked up her bow again and fired off a shot to the hand, then one in the neck. Someone came for her, knocking her full force to the ground. Kylo threw something. More gunshots fired, Rey stuck another arrow in the head of some girl that she couldn’t really make the face of. She kept moving, Benji was still alive, thank god. Blood matted his fur, but he was alive. He sunk his teeth into another man’s knee and Rey raised to fire.

Kylo got to him first. “Go!” He shouted at her. Rey didn’t wait for any other instructions, she ran, Benji right at her feet. She could hear someone else barreling after her. She couldn’t look back, but she knew for a fact that it wasn’t Kylo. These steps were heavier. A sign that someone much bigger than him was following her.

The man that Kylo had shot was still alive, and was coming right for Rey. She was flung to the ground, her head hitting a rock. Her ears started to ring and she couldn’t really make out what he was saying. Just that she had her knife in her hand that he was pushing down on, and that his breath was terrible.

She was going to die.

She was going to die.

She was going to die.

Something finally came through in her head when he was talking. She heard something about him killing her and then taking advantage of her body, then killing her dog, and then Kylo. It was like something had come over her, and pure adrenaline caused her to free her foot and knee him in the groin. She did it once, twice, three times, then he got off balance and she brought her knife up in an arc and sunk it down into his shoulder. Blood gushed onto her face as she cut as large of a gash as she could.

Benji ran and bit into his side, and then when Rey finally got up, she took her knife and stabbed him three more times before he died. She kept stabbing him. She didn’t know when Kylo got there, but he pulled her off and she nearly freaked out. “Woah, woah. It’s me, it’s me.” He said. Rey dropped her knife and started crying as he pulled her in close. “Hey, ssh. It’s okay. It’s okay. We need to get out of here.” She didn’t notice that he was covered in blood, but she was covered in blood too. “We’re going to get out of here.” There was something on fire back at the camp, Rey didn’t want to ask.

“You came back for me,”

“Of course I did,” He was still holding onto her, like if he let go she’d be taken again. “Why wouldn’t I?” Right. Because of the reward. Rey stopped crying, and pushed herself off of him.

“I just want to get out of here.” She said.

“I get that,” He told her. “There’s a Jeep close to the exit, we’ll take that. That way we don’t have to walk. That’ll be nice, right?” He was talking to her like she was a wounded animal. She hated that.

“Yeah.” She said. “That’ll be nice.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just want to ask a question: Do you want shorter chapters with more frequent updates or longer chapters with less updates? Thanks. Will update after four comments. Love you guys

They had found a car that was still working. Kylo considered it a blessing, especially as the ignition started and air blasted through the shitty vents in the car. He had opened the passenger side for Rey, but she got in the back with Benji and almost instantly fell asleep.

He didn’t blame her, they had had a rough couple of days. What really started to concern him was the lack of conversation after she woke up. The first thing he asked her when she woke up was, “You okay?” She nodded in the backseat, he caught of glimpse of her bloodshot eyes, of the blood that was matted in her hair.

She might’ve been okay physically. But mentally? That was another story.

At some point, they stopped for the night. Kylo found a garage and bolted down the shit out of every door. “I’ll take the first shift.”

**

 

Rey was wide awake when Kylo told her that she could sleep first. She knew what he was doing. He’d let her go to sleep and then spend the rest of the damn night awake. “It’s fine,” She told him, “Benji and I can take the first shift.” She was still in the back of the car, the window rolled down to talk to him. “I’m not tired, you should sleep.”

“I’m not tired either,” Kylo said.

“Kylo, you’re the driver. You need rest. I can just sleep in the car later if I get really tired. It’s fine.”

“Rey,” He cocked his head to the side, and damn, something in Rey’s chest pounded. It was frustrating.

“What?”

“Just let me take the first shift,”

“Do you not think I can defend myself if something happens?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You implied it.”

“No, I didn’t. I’m just trying to be nice.”

Rey rolled her eyes. God, he was such an asshole. He was going to win this argument, though. “Fine, you can get sleep deprived.” She laid back on the seat and Benji curled up on her feet.

**

Rey fell asleep, and Kylo smirked a little, knowing that he was right to let her have the first time to sleep. Kylo’s head was buzzing, and he couldn’t even fathom going back to sleep. He could hear both Benji and Rey breathing in the back seat. When he was sure he was asleep, he moved to a different part of the garage and sat down. There was no sound to stir Rey, so Kylo took it as a good enough time to let it all out.

He hadn’t really let his panic attack register until the last moment. Kylo didn’t like getting emotional, he didn’t like crying, there was something about the vulnerability that he didn’t like to experience. But he couldn’t stop it. He just had to let it go. Somewhere in the mix of it all, Benji must’ve heard him.

The wolf jumped outside of the open window in the car and came over to him, sitting down next to him and placing his head on Kylo’s leg. “Fuck,” When he was done, he felt raw and tired. Then he got up like nothing happened, and went back to the truck. “Hey, Rey?” She blinked and sat up.

It was too dark to realize that he had been crying, so she didn’t ask him about that. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” He said, “I was just starting to get tired.” She sat up and patted the back seat.

“Well come back here and take a nap, I’ll stay up.” He got in the back seat with her, sitting up still and letting Benji back in the car. There wasn’t much room in the backseat for all three of them. “I’ll go to the front seat,” Rey said.

“No,” Kylo told her. “Just stay back here, please.”

“Why?”

“Can you just… just do that?”

“Yeah.”

**

 

 

The two of them were driving again. Rey still didn’t feel as talkative as she usually was, but it was a little bit better. “God, I’m fucking bored.” She said.

“Imagine how I feel,” Kylo said. Rey rolled her eyes. “It’s not like you’ve exactly been great conversation lately.”

“Haha, fuck you grumpy pants.” Neither of them talked about the fact that there were more and more walkers that they drove by. Every once and a while the patches of undead got thicker until Kylo got onto a First Order approved road to drive down. It wasn’t an issue. Yet. “You know what we should do?”

“What?” Kylo sighed.

“We should play Two Truths and a Lie,”

“No, we really shouldn’t.”

“Yes, we should.” Rey said. “Unless you want to play Never Have I Ever,”

“Never Have I Ever sounds better.”

“Okay,” Rey wondered why he didn’t want to play such a game, “Never have I ever gone sledding, or seen snow.”

“I’ve seen snow and gone sledding.”

“Damn, what’s that like?”

“You’ve never seen snow?”

“Nope,”

“Damn,” Kylo shook his head, “guess I’m just going to have to take you sledding up North.” Rey’s heart sped up a little.

“Would you really do that?”

“Yeah,” He said. “Of course I would.” Rey bit her lip and smiled.

“Okay, now it’s your turn.”

There was a bit of a pause before Kylo finally obliged Rey, “Never have I ever had a pet.”

“That’s not fair!” Rey told him. “You know that I have a pet, that’s so obvious. You have to do things that you don’t know about the person.”

“Well, I already said it so that’s one point from you too. Now we’re even.” Rey rolled her eyes.

“Fine.” She said. “Never have I ever drank alcohol,”

“Have you never drank alcohol?” Kylo asked.

“Yeah,” Rey said. “Never found the need to.”

“You will when you’re injured and need pain meds.” The two of them were silent for a bit again before he said, “Sorry. That got morbid. Never have I ever read a comic book.”

“I could never afford comic books,” Rey said, “always wanted them when I was little but I couldn’t.”

“That’s so sad. What else have you not done?”

“A lot of things,” Rey said, “but that doesn’t really matter.” She leaned back in her seat. “Let’s change the conversation.” Kylo eyed her.

“Okay.” He wasn’t sure what to change the conversation to next.

“What was your childhood like?”

“Not that great,” Kylo admitted. “I was an annoying brat,” Rey didn’t say anything. Just stared at him. “A lot of the time I just felt alone, and I would feel bad about it but I wanted attention so badly that I would be a piece of shit and annoy my parents. Pretty sure they hated me when I was little, but I mellowed out and got into the Marines and they were proud.”

“That’s how you lost your arm, right?”

He pressed his lips together, trying not to remember that day. He still had an ugly scar that he was insecure about. “Yeah,”

“So you’re quite the badass and the hero.” Rey said matter of factly.

“I don’t think that I’m a hero.” He said.

“Oh, you are.” Rey told him. “At least, you are to me. Not just for your time as a Marine, but for being my friend. Taking me all this way. For coming to get me when I was kidnapped.” Rey watched Kylo’s eyes get glassy before he shook his head and kept going.

“You want me to stop to get you something? Is that why you’re sucking up?”

“I’m not sucking up!” Rey declared. “I’m just telling you the truth.” She rolled her eyes. “You’re just refusing to take a compliment.” It was almost as soon as she said that the car’s engine petered out.

“Fuck,”

**

 

Everything bad always seemed to happen at once. The car broke down, gas and engine at the same time, and the two of them were left in the middle of the road. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“Chill,” Rey seemed annoyed. “We’re just going to have to walk.” She sighed. “Benji, come.” She was about to open the door when Kylo stopped her. There was something wrong. They were just about under a bridge. There was something that was coming towards them.

“There’s something coming towards us,” He watched Rey’s face turn from annoyance to fear. “That’s a hoarde of walkers.”


	8. Run For Your Life

Rey wasn’t sure how they were going to get out of this alive. There were hundreds upon walkers, and they were hungry. Kylo seemed paralyzed for a few seconds, and then he started going into action. “Hand Benji over to me,” 

“I can-” 

“You need to run,” He said. 

“Benji come,” He jumped into the front seat, and Kylo took him. The wolf wriggled a little but didn’t struggle enough to make a problem.  _ Walkers are fast when they’re hungry.  _ “Are you sure that we’re going to be able to make it?” Rey asked, she could feel her heart start to pound. She couldn’t freeze now. 

She had Benji, she had Kylo, she was the cure. She had too much to lose if she died. Kylo stared at her, and for once, she knew that he didn’t know. They got out of the car, forgoing closing the doors. The two of them didn’t run immediately, not wanting to draw attention to themselves, but Rey was ready. There was an arrow knocked in her bow and she placed herself right next to Kylo. “Save your arrows,” He told her. He still had a gun on him. That was the absolute last resort. 

“If you need to drop him there’s no walkers, let him run for a bit.” Rey wasn’t sure how they were going to get Benji out of this alive, and she knew that it was more important to get herself out of the situation, but if she had to put herself in danger to get that wolf out of the area, she was going to do so. She would not put Kylo in danger though. 

She just wouldn’t. “Are you sure?” 

“Yes,” She said. “I won’t blame you, no matter what happens.” Kylo gingerly put the wolf down and Rey stopped, placing her bow by her side for a minute. She hugged the wolf as hard as she could, trying to stifle her crying. She knew that there was imminent danger. “I love you, boy.” She said. “But I need you to run, as fast as you can.” She got up, picking up her bow and arrow. 

“Go! Go now!” The wolf stared at her for a minute, and then started to run away. 

“We’ll find him,” Kylo told her. 

“I hope you’re right,” She said. The both of them had been in this situation before, but something felt different. The feeling in the pit of Rey’s stomach was not hopeful. The horde was coming, and it was coming quick. The two of them turned to the walls, staring at the smooth concrete on either side of them. There was no way that they would be able to scale the walls, and the incline that got them to the top where the bridges and buildings were was past the horde of walkers that was coming their way. So there was only solution. 

“We need to run,” 

**

Kylo was not afraid very often. He was used to danger. Used to running. But it was different this time, everything was different with Rey around. The walkers were coming from the tops of the walls too, and they were getting closer to the both of them. Kylo should have paid attention to the fact that there were more abandoned cars on this road than usual, that the stains on the road were dark and thick, that the blood of many people was here. Part of him hoped that Benji would come back and lead them to safety, the other part hoped that the wolf was smart enough to stay somewhere where someone could get him later. 

Rey notched an arrow and shot a walker in the face right as it fell over the edge, killing it before it could get to the ground and attack them. That’s when she had an idea. “Get out your knife,” She said. “We’re going to do something stupid.” There was no other choice, even though Kylo hated the idea of what she was going to do. He watched as Rey frantically gutted the walker, rubbing it’s guts all over her coat and this his. He dipped in as well, until the two were coated with the undead. 

“God,” 

“We don’t have any choice.” 

“I know,” He said, “How do you wanna go about this? Horde’s going the opposite direction of where we need to be.” 

“We won’t be noticed if we walk slow enough, let the horde get in front of us, occasionally walk the same way.” Rey said, “I’ve done this before when I hadn’t been picked up by you guys yet. It works. Trust me.” Kylo wondered how bad life was for her when the outbreak started. He never had the balls to ask though, and right now was definitely not a good time. Rey put her bow on her back and the two of them let the horde come forth, running from them was unrealistic. 

Kylo just prayed that they would be able to make it out of this alive. 

**

Rey had walked with the dead before, she had Benji with her though, and then the dead were a lot fewer. She was able to muss up his fur enough to make his smell undetectable. He was a pup then, in some ways he still was, and she would stick him up her shirt, walking for miles and miles without water. 

This time she didn’t have her dog and the walls that confined them could be the thing that ended up killing them. She wondered what Kylo was thinking, if he was as scared as she felt. She wondered what would happen if both of them died. Surely, someone else would be born immune and a cure would be able to be made. But how long would that be? Would civilization still be there when there was another cure? Would the people that were counting on her be okay? 

The both of them were silent, but she could feel Kylo staring at her. He was clutching his knife in one hand, the prosthetic brushing up against Rey’s hand. Rey bit her lip. She could feel the cogs and adjustable bits and bobs. Rey took his hand. The both of them shared a look, and then his eyes dropped down to her hand. She didn’t drop it. She needed something to hold on to. 

The two of them kept walking, slowly, letting the dead walk fast. Rey hoped to god that Benji was far off by now, that he had found the last incline that they had made the mistake of going down. 

They finally found their way to a fairly clear spot, where they could walk against the grain without being noticed. Eventually getting to under the bridge. It was dark. Really dark. And Rey felt like she was going to throw up the more she walked. Either throw up or piss herself. She knew that she couldn’t do anything that would make her more apparent to the dead. She couldn’t put Kylo in danger like that. Somehow, they found a toll booth. It was like a blessing in disguise. Somehow, Rey was able to open the door and the two of them were able to slip in and close and lock the door without being spotted. Rey and Kylo both slid to the floor, tired and sweaty and smelling disgusting. “Fuck,” Kylo whispered, “fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” 

“You okay?” Rey whispered back. 

“Yeah,” Kylo told her. “I’m fine. You? You didn’t get hurt, did you?” 

“No,” 

Rey took a deep breath in, and a deep breath out. “I hope Benji’s okay,” 

“He is,” Kylo said, “don’t worry about him right now.” 

“I can’t help it.” 

“I know,” He whispered, “I know. But he’s okay. That dog survived this far in the apocalypse, he’ll be fine.” Rey supposed that he was right. The next hour was spent by them waiting out the herd, at one point, Rey fell asleep, Kylo woke her up ten minutes later. They waited, and waited, and waited. Rey felt like she was going to hear the gurgling sounds of dead blood moving in the walker’s throats in her nightmares. She would never be able to drown that sound out of her head. She wondered where Benji was, wondered if he was going to be lost, and wondered if she was ever going to see him again. 

It was after spending two hours trying to outwait the herd that they set out again, the horde was sparser, and it was the most they were going to be able to get so they could keep walking again. Kylo was white knuckling his knife. They were in a wave of about fifty walkers. A lot less than there was before, but enough to be a threat. 

The incline of the underpass was getting closer, and Rey was glad that they were getting so close to freedom. That’s when it started to rain. That’s when the camouflage they had on them started to run. 

**

Kylo Ren was going to die. 

There was no doubt about it, as soon as the rain came down, the smell of the dead on Rey and Kylo’s skin washed away. The two of them looked at each other, then at the dead that was starting to get a little more curious. They didn’t break their cover immediately, only walking a step faster than usual. But there was no doubt what was inevitably going to come. 

Then it happened, the first walker attacked, and Kylo saw red. He lunged for Rey, but Kylo pushed her out of the way and brought his knife down in a cruel arc, right on the soft spot of his head, and then pulled it out. “Run,” Rey had her bow drawn and got one of the walkers through the eye. She was wide eyed, her hair sticking to her forehead and her neck, and she had the same look on her that Kylo felt in his very bones. It was the look you gave someone when you were sure it was the last time that you were going to see them. 

Kylo had already decided that if he had to, he was going to save Rey first. Rey was the priority. He started to run, his gait was bigger than Rey’s, so he was faster. He had to slow down a little and push her along. He didn’t know how many walkers he killed before his knife broke, but they were almost to safety. All he had left was his gun. He didn’t hesitate to pull out his pistol. “Go!” He told Rey. Rey started to head up the incline. 

“You coming,” Kylo had two full clips. He was going to make sure that enough of the dead were gone. 

“Go!” He said. “I’ll meet with you up at-” Suddenly a loud siren wailed, somewhere far in the distance. Away from them. The walkers were immediately distracted, starting to walk away from him. 

“You better get your ass up here,” Rey told him. Kylo got up there as fast as he could. She grabbed him by the collar as soon as he was close to her and said, “Don’t you ever fucking do that again!” Rain was pounding, and Kylo’s ears were ringing. He barely heard her. 

“What? Why?” 

“I know you were going to sacrifice your ass, and you’re not doing that. Not for me.” She let go of his collar, turning her head away from Kylo. He was so confused. That’s when he saw it. A light, attached to the top of the car, that was coming through the hard rain. People jumped out, and Rey notched an arrow on her bow, ready to fight. 

“Woah, woah, woah.” One of the people that jumped out of the car said. “We’re not here to kidnap you or some shit,” He told her. “We’re here to help.” The one that spoke was about Rey’s height, darker, and well built. He looked like a soldier. He was wearing a jacket just like the ones that a lot of Rebellion wore. The Rebellion were a sect of the Dragonfly organization. The ones that were wanting Rey. “I’m Finn.” He got closer to Rey. “Would you mind lowering your bow?” 

“He’s a Dragonfly, Rey.” Kylo said. “Friends.” Rey lowered her bow. Her shoulders slumped in relief. The other man came up to them, “We have a camp not far away, let’s get you two out of the rain and get out of here.” Kylo was more than eager to get in the car, but he waited for Rey to go first. 

“What about Benji?” She whispered to Kylo. 

“We’ll find him,” Kylo tried to reassure her, but he wasn’t sure if he was very successful. She ended up getting in the car with him. The man in the driver’s seat looked through the mirror. 

“I’m Poe Dameron, by the way.” He said. “Glad to meet y’all.” He winked, Kylo didn’t say anything, but he could feel irritation creeping on him. Rey just said hi, her voice tired and her eyes looking heavy. She was shivering, Kylo pulled her closer. 

“We have dry places,” he said, “and a lot of blankets. You two will like it there.” 

“Have you seen a wolf out and about recently?” Kylo was the one to ask as the car started to drive. 

“A wolf?” Poe asked. 

“Oh shit, you had a wolf on you too.” Finn said. “We haven’t seen it,” Rey looked like her heart broke. “But it’s raining really fucking hard, and there’s a chance Rose found it.” 

“Who’s Rose?” 

“She’s a former zoologist,” Finn said, “she’s started a sort of sanctuary for a bunch of different animals. She started patrolling around when we did.” Rain pounded on the windows, and Kylo wondered how Poe could see where he was going through it all. “She’s really good with animals,” He said. “If she found him, he’ll probably be there when we get there.” That got Rey’s hopes up a little more, but he could tell, she was preparing herself for the worst. 

He grabbed her hand, rubbing little circles softly over it, “It’ll be okay,” He told her, “he’ll be okay too.” Rey nodded. 

“Right, it’s all going to be okay.”  


	9. shelter me

 

The first thing that Rey was grateful for was the two beds in the room that they gave her and Kylo, but when she sat down, and then the clothes that they provided for the both of them to change into. She had taken her pants off, ending up taking one of the tank tops she had been offered and calling it a day. Kylo stayed in the other portion of the room, and he still seemed nervous. The two of them sat there in the dark, listening to the wind blow for the longest time. And then Rey decided that she didn’t want to be alone again. “I can’t sleep,” She told him. “Can I uh-- go over there with you?” 

“Yeah,” Kylo told her, “I can’t sleep either.” She got up, taking her blanket with her and going across the room, and sitting next to him. 

“Thanks,” She said. She leaned against his shoulder and closed her eyes. “Your clothes are still wet,” She told him. The two of them listened to the rain pitter patter even more. “Why haven’t you changed?” 

“That takes effort,” He said. “Kind of a bitch to pull off with a prosthetic.” Rey opened her eyes and looked up at him. 

“Why didn’t you ask me for help?” She asked. 

“Cuz’ I thought you were going to bed.” He told her, “and plus, that’s kind of weird, don’t you think?” Rey blinked, not sure what she met by that. 

“What? Me helping you take off your shirt?” He stared at her pointedly, and even through the darkness she could see the expression on his face. “Kylo, I’ve seen men without their shirts on before.”

“It’s not that,” 

“Then what is it,” 

“I have a pretty bad scar,” He said, “I just don’t like showing people that.” 

“I doubt that I could even see it in the dark,” Rey said, “and besides, even if I did, I wouldn’t judge you for it. You don’t need to stay in wet clothes and get pneumonia.” She could feel the pause in between the two of them, and then she got her answer. 

“Okay,” 

“Is that a yes, I can help you?” 

“Yeah.” Rey took her head off his shoulder and had him turn towards her, started to unbutton his jacket, and then his flannel. 

“You have so many layers.” There was another flannel under the first. She knew why that was. That way if a walker chomped down on any part of his upper body, they couldn’t get their teeth through four layers of clothes. “Are you hot all the time?” 

“Usually,” He said, She peeled off the second flannel and got to his undershirt. 

“Would it be easier for me to take the prosthetic off first?” 

“I can-” 

“No, I’ll do it.” There was a button that clicked and unfastened the prosthetic, and then Rey helped him get his wet shirt off and let it fall to the floor. She could see the scar, even with the minimal lighting that was provided to them. “Can I ask you something?” 

“Yeah,” 

“How did you lose your arm?” 

“I was in the Marines,” He told her. “IED went off. Barely survived.” There wasn’t just a scar on his arm where the rest had been, but a few that looked like shrapnel too. “Like I said, it looks really bad and it’s uncomfortable so if you could just-” Rey got the new shirt and he took it, putting it on himself. 

“It doesn’t look that bad, you know that right?” 

He stared at her. “Yes it does, you don’t have to lie to me.” 

“I’m not,” Rey said. “You’ve seen my scars and didn’t judge me for them, I won’t judge you for yours. Your scar is fine.” She wished that she could silence the insecurity that he had, but she knew she could not. She didn’t have that sort of power. “I’m just sorry that happened.” 

“You don’t need to be sorry,” 

“I am though.” She said. “You don’t deserve any pain.” She got closer to him, her hand brushing against his thigh. She wanted to be closer. She needed someone to comfort her. She wasn’t sure if he wanted the same thing, but she needed him. If he said no, she would go back to her bed and she wouldn’t be mad, but she needed someone to be close to. 

“That’s sweet,” He said. The two of them sat in silence for a little bit longer. 

“Do you think that Benji will be okay?” Silence. “Tell me honestly what you think, please.” 

“Honestly, I hope that he’ll be okay.” She sunk further into him. “In the morning, I’ll go out looking for him.” She felt so tired, she didn’t say thank you, she didn’t say that she had grown to really appreciate the fact that he was there too, and that she wanted him to be safe. Rey fell asleep on Kylo Ren’s shoulder that night, and when she woke up, he was gone in the morning.

**

Kylo felt like there was something wrong with him. When Rey fell asleep on him he didn’t put her back in her bed, he just laid her down in his and stayed there. He couldn’t fall asleep, every time he had tried to close his eyes he saw all of those walkers coming towards him. Death, riding. It made him nauseous, and he hated it. He hated the vulnerability of it all, but most of all, he hated the fact that he felt like he couldn’t protect Rey. 

The thought of losing her was the worst thing ever. Now, he was going out to look for this wolf that had also started to grow on him, with a feeling of dread in his stomach telling him that it was his fault that this dog was dead. This was why he never transported pets. This was why he never did it. It wasn’t that he didn’t like them, it was that every time that he had transported people with pets, they died on the journey and Kylo felt like a piece of shit. He almost didn’t hear the soldier from last night calling his name. “Mr. Ren!” He called out. Finn came running towards him, looking out of breath. The rain was still pounding down on the roof. “Oh, I’m glad that I caught you. Where are you going?” 

“Goin’ to look for Rey’s wolf.” He said. 

“Well you don’t need to do that,” He told him. “The dog’s at the vet’s right now. Rose is giving him a check up.” 

“Was he bit? Was he hurt?” 

“No, but he’s really wet and stepped on some glass. They’re just trying to make sure he doesn’t have any lung torsion or pneumonia. Bandage him up so he doesn’t get an infection..”   
“Holy shit,” A weight had been lifted on him. “Thank fuck.” He said. “I wasn’t sure what I was going to do if--” 

“You don’t have to think about that now,” Finn said. “I’d just tell your girlfriend that it’ll be okay.” 

“She’s not my girlfriend.” 

“Okay, yeah, sure. Just tell Rey that her wolf’s okay.” 

“Yeah,” He said, “will do.” 

**

 

When Rey heard that Benji was okay, she almost threw up. It was like she had been holding in this nervous wave of stuff that wanted to come up when she was finally given an answer. Rey got up and instantly ran out of the room, one of the soldiers showing her to the vet’s room. There her dog was, next to a woman that looked so, so tired. Kylo was there too. “Oh my god, who found him?” She asked. Kylo pointed to the woman and without thinking, Rey ran to her for a hug. “Thank you so much!” She was practically bubbling with joy, and ran over to Benji, hugging him next. There was a bandage around his foot. “Aw, poor boy.” 

“My name is Rose,” The woman said. 

“Rose,” Rey turned back to her, “thank you so much for finding him. God that must’ve been a lot of trouble for you.” 

“It really wasn’t a problem, I always go out when it’s raining, just to see if I can find some animals to give a home. I was glad that I found your wolf too, he’s so beautiful.” The girl smiled wide, and Rey felt the urge to hug her again. “Poor boy stepped on some glass so I’m gonna keep him a little longer to monitor him if you don’t mind, but he should be fine to walk by the end of the day.” 

***

Rey was back in Kylo’s bed by midday, he wanted to take a walk and a weird part of Rey wanted him there. So she fell asleep in his bed. She woke up an hour later after he coughed and said, “Y’know your bed is right over there.” She jolted upright. 

“Fuck, sorry.” 

“You comfy?” 

“Yeah,” 

“Mind if I join?” 

“Go ahead,” He did join. Rey nestled into his side and closed her eyes. 

“I feel safe when I’m with you.” She said. 

He was silent for a long time.

 Rey fell asleep. 

She woke up, and he was there this time. He looked so peaceful when he was asleep. Rey smiled, and watched for a little bit. The two of them stayed there for a long time, before he woke up and smiled at her. “We’re going to fuck up our sleep schedule,” He said. 

“Don’t you think that it’s worth it?” 

“Think that what’s worth it?” 

“Cuddling.” 

“I do like cuddling,” he said. 

The two of them giggled a little before he got up. “We have to go get your dog soon.”

“Oh yeah,” Rey felt groggy, and like her head was pounding as hard as possible. “Will you come with me?” 

“Of course,” He said, “you gotta get your shoes on though.” 

“Carry me,” 

“I’m not doing that,” He said. He was actually smiling. Rey liked it when he actually smiled. It was a powerful thing that gave her more energy as the day wore on. 

***

Rey was talking to Poe Dameron, because of course she was, and Kylo Ren was jealous. He knew that it was wrong to feel that way. Rey should be allowed to talk to whoever he wanted to without him there, but of course, Poe was biting his lip and making jokes and looking at her like she was the next girl that he wanted to get with. Benji wasn’t even growling at him, like he had at Kylo when the two of them just met. Kylo wanted to know what they were talking about, why Rey was smiling and giggling around him. 

Suddenly he was wondering if they could brave the three day storm that had been going on off and on, but he knew that Rey would tell him that that was a dumb idea. That they needed to wait until they were sure that all was clear for them to go. And even when they did go, Poe Dameron would probably go along with them, and so would Finn, but Finn was someone that Kylo Ren didn’t mind. He could take a hundred Finns over Poe Dameron every day. Finally Rey broke away from him and the two of them parted ways. She was smiling until she saw Kylo’s face. “What’s wrong with you?” She asked. 

“Nothing,” He said. Benji trotted up by him and licked the back of his pant leg. “Just got a headache.” 

“Okay,” Rey shrugged, “We could go ask the medbay if they have any pills.” 

“I’ll tough it out,” He said. “I’m just hungry,” That was a lie. Again, Kylo felt like a piece of shit. It was a bit of a lie, but not the entire lie. He was grinding his teeth and that made his head ache. He felt like a piece of shit for feeling jealous, even though Rey was just a friend. Right? She was just a friend. Shared trauma did a lot to bond the two of them together but she was just a friend that Kylo Ren would have to leave in New York later.

“Then lets get some food.” 

“Yeah, lets.” 


	10. Please Don't Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey sorry for the shorter chapter after the long break, i swear next update will be better but needed to get back into the groove of writing this

Rey made a habit of staying in Kylo Ren’s bed at night, and Kylo didn’t know why. He wanted her to stay there with him though. It was easier that way, Benji laid next to the bed while Rey wrapped her arms around him. Part of Kylo wished that he could give her a proper hug when she fell asleep, but she always liked wrapping her arms around him. Kylo would let her. A lot of the times he would stay up, making sure that nothing bad happened to them. Then he would start to fall asleep along with her, not used to not having nightmares when he fell asleep. That was the most time they would spend together during the week, Rey would spend her time with Rose, Finn, and Poe a lot and Kylo would try not to get jealous. 

Maybe they would take her the rest of the way to where she needed to go, Kylo could leave and she probably wouldn’t even notice. Rey came back to their room that night and saw him about to take off his shirt. “Oh, sorry.” She said. “I should’ve knocked,” 

“It’s okay,” He said. “It’s not like you haven’t seen me before.” She nodded and went down to her bed to lay down. Benji jumped on top of her and laid down. Kylo changed into an undershirt. Part of him was a little bit disappointed that she wasn’t looking at him again.  _ What’s wrong with me?  _

“Why didn’t you come out of the room today?” She asked. 

Kylo shrugged, “Just tired, why?” 

“I don’t know,” She said, “I just like being around you, you know? Was just worried if you were sick or something.”  _ Fuck.  _ “Is it something to do with Poe Dameron?”  _ Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.  _

“No,” Kylo lied, he felt like it was pretty obvious that he was lying, but Rey didn’t push it. She just pet Benji and closed her eyes. 

“Then why were you a shut in today?” 

“Rey, I’m just not as sociable as you and you know that. I get overwhelmed sometimes.” She nodded, her eyes fluttering open for a second before Benji got off of her and she moved over to his bed. 

“Well would you get overwhelmed if we sneak some beers and go up to the roof?” 

That’s when Kylo’s heart stopped. “Drinking up on the roof, that’s not the most responsible thing ever.” 

“The full moon’s out,” Rey said, “please I’d like to see it.” 

“Then why don’t you go up there yourself,” 

“Because I want to see it with you.” 

**

A few hours earlier Rey, Finn, Rose, and Poe were having a snack in the mess hall. “So, Rey. Where’s the big lumberjack?” Poe asked. 

“Poe, be nice.” Rose said. 

“I am,” He said, “lumberjacks are hot.” Rey raised an eyebrow. 

“I don’t know,” She shrugged. 

“Shame,” Finn said, “he’s hot. Thought you’d want to have him by yourself everywhere you go and stuff like that. Are you two—?” 

“Dating? No,” Rey didn’t know why she was blushing, she also didn’t know why they were asking her about Kylo Ren. 

“Really?” Rose raised an eyebrow, “he looks at you like you’re literally the only person that matters to him every time I see the two of you together.” 

“No he doesn’t,” Rey said. She wished he did but he didn’t. 

“Oh honey,” Poe shook his head as he took a bite of his sandwich, “I know when guys are in love, and trust me, that guy is in love with you.” 

**

Kylo usually didn’t think much of the moon. It was the moon, it was always there. But today it was almost breathtaking. Kylo wondered if that was because he was with Rey. Maybe he was seeing something through her eyes, because she marvelled at how big the full moon was like it was the first time that she had ever seen the moon in the first place. The two of them snuck several bottles of beer up to the roof and stayed there. He was a bit nervous then, but he was more nervous now. 

“It’s beautiful,” She said. The two of them were sitting down on a small stoop, and even though Kylo was used to having her in close proximity, he had a hard time breathing. “You probably think this is silly but I’ve always wanted to just go out and stargaze with someone.” 

“That’s not silly,” He told her. He took a quick sip of beer afterwards, quickly noticing that Rey was a bit of a lightweight. She had barely gotten through her first beer and opened her second by the time she started to sway just a little bit. 

“I wish… I wish that we didn’t have this apocalypse and shit going on.” Rey said. 

“Well then we wouldn’t have met,” 

“You don’t know that,” Rey said, “I feel like some people are so important in your life that you’re bound to meet them in one way or another.” She placed a hand on his thigh and it stayed there. “I think that in another life, you and I still would’ve met. ‘Cuz you’re important to me.”  _ What was wrong with him?  _ Kylo’s heart was racing as he just stared at her, her face lit by moonlight and her eyes sparkling. 

She was so beautiful, and he hated it. Because it wasn’t fair. She was his client. He was supposed to lead her to where she was supposed to go and collect the money and ever see her again. He wasn’t supposed to feel something for her. Not like this. Feelings got in the way of actually being able to care for your client. Because as soon as feelings were in the way, you could freeze, and that meant death for both you and the person you cared about. Kylo couldn’t afford that. 

And then Rey kissed him. He pulled back from her, mainly just shocked,  “Rey, you’re drunk.” 

“Not drunk enough to not remember this in the morning,” She went for it again and Kylo swerved, turning around and shaking his head. 

“I am not doing this,” Rey was silent for a minute before saying anything. 

“If I wanted to kiss you in a few hours would you let me kiss you?” He stayed quiet, he knew that he shouldn’t say yes, but he doubted that she would want to kiss him when she stopped swaying. So he said something that he knew that he was going to regret. 

“Yes, Rey. If you want to kiss me in a few hours, I will kiss you.” Rey nodded and got up off the roof. 

“Then let’s go inside.” 

If Kylo was going to be honest, he had only kissed someone once. And that was such a long time ago he didn’t even remember how it felt, but he was in the seventh grade playing ‘spin the bottle’ with a group of friends. He couldn’t even remember the face of the girl that he kissed. Ever since then he didn’t really have an interest in that sort of thing, and then he met Rey. 

When Rey got to their room and laid down on her bed, Kylo was pretty sure that she had fallen asleep. But he was wrong. It was about three hours later that she woke up and crawled into his bed. “Hey, you still awake?” 

“Yeah,” Kylo should’ve pretended to be asleep. 

“Can I kiss you now?” There was silence. 

“Rey, I don’t want you to do something that you’re gonna regret later. Seriously. I don’t think it’s a good idea.” There was a long bout of silence before Rey spoke, and he could hear the disappointment in her voice. 

“Guess I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up,” He felt the mattress shift as she went back to her own bed. God. He was such an asshole. 

***

When Rey woke up in the morning, Kylo wasn’t in his bed. His bed was neatly made and all of his clothes had been packed up. Benji was tugging at the cuff of her pants and whining. Rey got up. “What’s wrong, boy?” 

She looked over to see a piece of paper on Kylo’s pillow. She picked it up and read, 

 

_ Rey,  _

 

_ Look I’m sorry to leave like this but these people will get you to the place you need. It’s just better this way, for them to keep you safe. I hope you do well on your journey, I don’t need the pay for it.  _

 

_ Kylo _


End file.
